Playgrounds

Playgrounds are enjoyable places for the majority of the kids around us. But they have never really been fun for my son, and in turn that makes them not so enjoyable for me either.

Most days when we leave the preschool classroom, other kids are running around and playing on all the equipment, but CJ is either fatigued from the morning of school, over-stimulated, hungry, or some combination of all of that…and usually vocalizing his frustration about whatever is bothering him by yelling, screaming, or crying. Since he is nonverbal, that is his go-to for communicating.

Sometimes I veer him toward the playground, thinking maybe today is the day you will play and enjoy like all the other kids. But that usually ends in even louder and more upset protests from him that make it clear he isn’t enjoying himself. And the looks from others at the playground make it so that I’m not enjoying it either. And so the next day we go back to our routine of heading straight to the car, sometimes to go immediately to some kind of therapy appointment for him.

I can only imagine that, like in this blog post, the kids will continue to get more brazen with their looks and eyerolls. All at the expense of my son, who is different. He was three the first time I had to overhear kids from his class making fun of him. THREE. So I can only imagine how much worse it will get, and I’m not sure my mama heart can handle it.

My Son, You are Different